A toast to your life!

Every day, I talk to people who look at life through the lens of either/or . . . right/wrong . . . good/bad . . . yes/no.  They believe there’s only one option and don’t recognize how they limit their choices.  They then completely surrender their feelings and energy to that one perspective which is often counterproductive and immobilizing.  It all points to the “is the glass half empty or half full?” perspective (the rhetorical question used to determine optimistic or pessimistic perspectives).

I spent most of my life seeing the world through the lens of half empty or full, too!  My coaches’ training helped me shift my beliefs in so many ways.  It continues to support me on a daily basis to evaluate and challenge my perspectives in service of creating a healthy, peaceful and satisfying life.  Recently, I came to the conclusion that the glass we all talk about is simultaneously BOTH half empty AND half full!

This is an incredibly liberating perspective!  When I am able to see the glass as both half full and half empty, it allows me to lean into and learn from the half empty and more fully enjoy the gifts within the half full.

I’m sharing a few personal stories that illustrate this point:

• I am losing my Mom to dementia.  Due to this and her mobility challenges, she now lives in a skilled nursing facility.  Half empty perspective: Dementia is an insidious disease.  Living in a nursing facility is not the option I would choose for my Mom.  Every time she sees me, she bursts into tears.  Half full perspective: The dementia allows her to remain completely in the present and wounds from her past have fallen away.  She is safe, loved and well tended to in the facility she lives in.  Her tears are ones of joy not desperation, and her huge smile let’s me know how grateful she is to see me.

• Immediately following my trip to CA in April, I experienced a sudden and potentially permanent hearing loss in my left ear.  Half empty perspective: Why me?  Would it have happened if I hadn’t gone to CA?  My life will never be the same.  Half full perspective: I’ve survived many other setbacks and always turned them into opportunities to thrive.   I treasure every moment of my trip with my family in CA, so I wouldn’t want to undo it.  I’m reminded to practice self-care and listen more intently to what my body is telling me (I’ll write more about this another time).

• A product I created several years ago will be launched very soon!  Half empty perspective: Why did it have to take so long?  Why is there so much red tape?  When will I finally reap the rewards?  Half full perspective: I always saw the bigger potential and patiently waited until a strategic partner materialized who could help me realize my expansive dream.  Taking the time now to dot all the “i”s and cross all the ‘t”s will ensure a smoother launch.  While I was waiting, I’ve focused on and expanded my other professional pursuits which will reap its own rewards.

As each of  the above unfolded, I embraced BOTH the half empty AND half full perspectives.  Allowing ALL my feelings to wash through me during these challenging situations without giving any one of them a “home” kept me in the present and grounded.  When I celebrate my Mom’s big juicy tears falling from her bright blue eyes instead of quickly turning away in sadness, I notice the huge smile just beneath them.  When I give thanks for my hearing that remains, it helps me focus on my blessings of good health.  When I surrender to the wave of excitement over the imminent launch of my product, I’m able to honor how much I’ve grown from the entire process.

The next time you’re willing to settle for half a glass , remember you have a choice to raise a full glass and toast your deliciously messy life!

Are you ready to thrive?

Kathie Nitz

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