The world WILL keep spinning!

Every day I encounter people (many people!) who tell me how busy their lives are and how they can barely keep up with “things.”   Living in a world that never shuts down, it’s easy to be consumed by the lives we create.  We are certain once we get our ducks in a row (just one more email answered, one more call made, etc.) everything will slow down.

I fall for this illusion, too.  Thankfully, what usually saves me is that I’ve created awareness around this pattern, so I’m able to break the cycle before I get too far into it.

For instance, my schedule last week was jam packed.  In addition, I had a few unexpected “emergencies” pop up.  As my week progressed, I kept looking ahead at Friday.  I had blocked the day out to spend time with two dear friends.  We meet every month or so to share meaningful conversation, enjoy a delicious homemade meal we prepare and write together.  An internal voice kept telling me “You have no business going.  You have SO much to do!”

This is the voice that was once so convincing that I would cancel my plans and dutifully soldier on.  No more!  I’ve learned to acknowledge and thank this vigilant voice, then trust I would be better served doing precisely whatever it’s trying to talk me out of doing!

What I discovered last Friday, of course, is what I ALWAYS discover when I carve out time for myself . . . the world will keep spinning if I pull off the highway and spend some time in the rest area.  I left that get together with my friends feeling like I’d been on a vacation and drove home with a heart full of gratitude.  With my spirit renewed, I easily picked up my life where I’d left it.

When I was a child, my Mom would say things like “Let’s go to the zoo today!  The dirt can wait!”  As I grew up, I began to think it was just because she was a procrastinator (which, truth be told, was partially true) AND sometimes that dirt waited a long time for us to get around to it again.  Now, as a woman, I appreciate the wisdom in her words and actions.  I think back to the thrill of being able to toss aside our cleaning gear and jump in the car for an unexpected adventure.  Funny, now that I think of it, the world kept spinning back then, too!

The next time YOU think you can’t possibly do anything other than what you’re presently immersed in, I encourage you to step away away from the car, desk, to do list, etc. . . . for a minute, an hour, a day . . . and carve out breathing room for yourself.

It’s in this space you will reconnect with your spirit.  It’s in this space you will gain perspective on your life.  It’s in this space your voice will tell you exactly what it needs.

Give it a try!  Step away from your computer . . . right now . . . and go play!  The “dirt” can wait and, I assure you, the world WILL keep spinning!

Resonating with the Seasons

I love EVERY season . . . winter, spring, summer and fall.  Just when I start to grow impatient with one season, the next one comes along and renews my spirit.

So, I am always startled when I hear someone grumble about an impending change of season or even dreading it!  It never crosses my mind to push against these times of transition.  To me, each season brings its own unique gifts:

Winter gives me permission to slow my life down.  The shorter days encourage me to cocoon and recharge my battery.  My world becomes smaller and cozier.  Reading while listening to the crackle of a roaring fire and watching the snow gently fall outside my windows is heaven!  Making snow angels . . . need I say more? Winter also brings an opportunity to learn more about my backyard critters by observing their tracks in the snow. With the trees devoid of foliage, I marvel at their elegant shapes and appreciate the scenic views that become more expansive.

Spring brings the promise of birth.  I’m always reminded of how quiet winter is when I hear the first sounds of spring.  The peepers in our vernal pond are the first to announce its arrival.  Soon after, they are joined by the Robins.  After such a long absence of nature sounds, they are especially sweet to my ears when I first hear them.  The sap buckets hang from the trees.  The sugar shacks start billowing their smoke and producing golden maple syrup.  The sweet breeze coming through the open window reminds me to hang my wind chime.

Summer is just plain fun.  There are so many activities I associate with summer . . . baseball, golf, tennis, swimming and hiking to name a few . . . and enjoy them all whether I’m a spectator or participant.  The days are long and compel me to squeeze every minute out of every day.  The hammock beckons me every time it catches my eye.  Kites fly in the sky.  Vibrant chairs and umbrellas dot the beaches.  Hummingbirds dart and butterflies drift.  I purchase my produce from the local Farmer’s Market.  We grill out and dine alfresco and delight at the lightning bugs that provide the mood lighting.

Fall is by far my absolute favorite!  This time of year feels like home to me.  The sugar maples tease me with patches of vibrant reds and oranges and will soon be set fully ablaze with color.  We drive through a shower of gently falling leaves to a nearby orchard and gather just picked crisp apples and enjoy hot spiced cider along with fresh, hot sugar cider donuts.  Pumpkins are lovingly picked by giddy children and will soon be given personalities.  I feel perpetually hugged by my sweaters.  I cook up soups and other one pot meals.  It’s a time for reflection and gratitude.  I am mindful to savor it since it seems the most fleeting to me.

At this time of year when I am filled with excitement about the arrival of fall and know people who are struggling with the transition, I’m left wondering what causes each of us to react differently to the change of seasons.  Is it “just the way we’re wired” or is it a learned behavior based upon a past experience?

Post your thoughts about the change of seasons.  In particular, as a coach, I’m curious to know what impact it has on your mood, productivity, perspective, relationships, etc.

Are you ready to thrive?

Kathie Nitz

What perspective are you sitting in right now?

A few days ago, I was hit with a bad 24 hour flu bug.  Yuck!  I’m rarely sick and usually rebound quickly, so I didn’t expect the lingering nausea and sluggishness. I also didn’t expect to deepen my learning around perspectives while laying on the couch recuperating.

While my husband moved about the house in his usual manner, my senses were assaulted by everything he did.   Every door he closed seemed slammed, every crunchy bite he took sounded like a jackhammer, every move he made was as quick as hummingbird’s, etc.  In reality, he was doing everything the same as always.  It was just my “sick” perspective that distorted my reality.

A perspective can linger or shift in an instant . . . someone you care about can suddenly look like the Incredible Hulk when you become irritated with them when moments before they were as lovable as a fluffy, Labrador puppy . . . your favorite athlete is being reckless and causing your team to lose until his/her shot wins the game and suddenly they are a genius . . . you’re feeling sorry for yourself about “whatever” until you watch the news and you find yourself suddenly counting your blessings.

This one minute video illustrates the point perfectly:

more about “Hulu – Legally Blonde: Dork Breaks El…“, posted with vodpod

My clients often talk to me about challenges they’re facing that are frustrating and/or seem insurmountable.  During their coaching session, we look at it from different angles and explore their options.  By the time we are done, they feel empowered and uplifted.  I remind them in the moment that NOTHING has changed except their perspective on the situation.  They typically nod and smile as they confidently go on their way.

I encourage you to take one day and create awareness around how quickly your perspective shifts and how it shapes your reality in each moment.  This exercise will empower you to shift your perspective more easily in the future by looking at the bigger picture of what’s going on and choosing the lens through which you want to view your life.

Are you ready to thrive?

Kathie Nitz

Peace, Love and Woodstock

It was a beautiful, sunny day several weeks ago, when my husband and I took my nieces (aged 20 and 16) to Bethel Woods Center for the Arts.  We wanted to spend special time alone with them before they flew back to California with their parents.  My husband had been wanting to go there since reading about it in USA Today, so he was thrilled when we were all game to go.

Our nieces did without their summer time late morning slumber, and we headed out early for our adventure.  As we drove along ribbons of highway, we listened to music from the 60s and chatted as the countryside drifted past us.  Before too long, we were in Bethel, NY.  We were happy to be there and ready to stretch our legs. Without much context, I took the museum at face value . . . a lovely parcel of land with a building smaller than I had expected.

We walked up to the ticket window, asked a few questions, bought our tickets and headed in. Inside, we were encouraged by the friendly and knowledgeable staff to go downstairs first to see a special exhibit.  It was called Give Peace A Chance.  It was about John Lennon’s and Yoko Ono’s sit-in during 1969.  I was a kid back then and vaguely remember the event.  I DO remember thinking “Yuck, that’s not MY John!”  At the time, I was much too young to understand and/or embrace his new appearance and beliefs.  “My John” was a mop topped, clean shaven “lad.”  As an adult women, I found the exhibit fascinating and thought provoking.

Once we were done, we headed upstairs to the museum.  When we entered, I felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz when she walks out of her house after crash landing and her world shifts from black and white to vibrant color.  My eyes were filled with amazing colors and images.  It was exciting and enticing.

I also immediately understood why the museum building was smaller than I expected.  They did an amazing job of creating efficient and stimulating layered exhibits.  There were artifacts co-existing with video screens perched on walls lined with plaques of information.  I was also surprised to discover it was not just about Woodstock!  They brilliantly give context to the entire decade, so anyone can understand the confluence of events that led up to the event 40 years ago.

The four of us wandered, learned, shared and enjoyed the experience.  Afterward, we sat outside eating a delicious lunch from the onsite cafe.  After exploring the gift shop, we made our way down to the actual site of the concert. It was there that we were all surprisingly moved.  There’s a peaceful energy there, and we all stood quietly imaging what it must have been like in 1969 with nearly 500,000 people.

My nieces told us then and continue to say it was the best part of their trip!  Who knew!?  We’re all anxiously awaiting the new movie, “Taking Woodstock.”

On our drive home, we chatted about the bigger picture of Woodstock and the 60s. We also talked about how amazing it was that, in a world absent of the Internet, Twitter, Facebook, etc., so many people from all over the world heard about it.

It was a joy to share something from our generation with another generation.  It was wonderful to share meaningful conversation with my nieces about the events of the 60s.  It was a privilege to see them through different eyes and honor their more adult perspectives.

Create an opportunity to learn and grow with someone you love.  Challenge yourself to look back at your past in order to understand what makes you tick today.  Devote a day to enjoy life’s simple pleasures . . . go on a ride, sing out loud, run in a lush green field . . . you get the idea!  You don’t have to be a hippie to appreciate peace, love and Woodstock!!

Are you ready to thrive?

Kathie Nitz

At Choice in Every Moment

A few years ago, I heard something that stopped me in my tracks and changed my life forever.  An “expert” being interviewed on TV about coping with challenges included within their advice the statement . . . “the situation is neutral.”

Wow!  It was like a lightning bolt hit me.  As a professionally trained life and relationship coach, I already understood the concept of being at choice.  This, however, was a new twist on it for me and deepened my learning.

I absolutely believe that I have a choice in every moment.  Adding the concept that “the situation is neutral” further enhances my ability to cope.  It has become my mantra during challenging situations and acts like a pause button that allows me to take a moment and choose how I want to be with it.

When I allow the situation to remain neutral, I can be an objective witness who sees the solution clearly and takes action.  When I push against the situation, I can quickly fall into a downward spiral and become immobilized by fear, frustration, etc.

During our lives, we become conditioned to react in certain ways based upon what has been modeled for us.  For example, my Dad was a classic “Not-So-Handy Andy.”  Whenever he attempted to do any repairs or projects, drama ensued.  His face would instantly become sweaty and beet red, and he would inevitably injure himself.  At the same time, my Mom would alternate between nosily hovering and nervously retreating.  The energy was chaotic, and we all held our breath until he was done.  Imagine the beliefs I held around what it looks like to do repairs or projects.

Now, when I am attempting a repair, my old beliefs about it having to be difficult fall away when I simply remember “the situation is neutral.”  This toilet paper holder fell off the wall.  I want it back on.  I don’t know nuts about nuts and bolts.  How will I make it happen?  It becomes more of an adventure and my energy goes into the project rather than into the resistance to it.  No tears.  No swearing.  No anger.  No panic.  No holding my breath.  Before I know it, I’m admiring my work and no worse for the wear.  I’m delighted to say it’s even allowed me and my very own “Not-So-Handy Andy” husband to work together as a team and break the pattern of drama I once witnessed with my parents.

This, obviously, extends way beyond toilet paper holders!  It applies to any of life’s challenges.  It’s truly as simple as:  This is the fact.  This is the desired outcome.  How will I make it happen?

Think of a recent challenge you faced with others.  I suspect each of you reacted in a different way.  This is because you all brought your own energy and emotions to a situation that was neutral.  This allowed you to create your own personal experiences even though you were facing the same challenge.

Understanding this has helped me realize it’s not about trusting that life will always go smoothly.  It’s about knowing I am at choice in every moment.  YOU are at choice in EVERY moment, too.  How will you choose to “be” the next time you are faced with a challenge?

Are you ready to thrive?

Kathie Nitz

I’ve been inspired: Seeds of Inspiration necklace by Sapna Mehra

When I started this blog, I promised to share with you personal insights, random musings and/or interesting “finds.”  Well, I recently ran into someone who creates unique, beautiful and meaningful jewelry . . . and I consider both her and her jewelry to be “finds!”

A few weeks ago, my sister and two nieces were visiting from CA.  I had arranged for us to stay at my friend’s apartment in NYC for a few days, so they could experience living in “the Village.”  Whenever they visit and I take them into the City, the idea of going to Madame Tussauds wax museum comes up and then gets dropped in favor of other activities.  Although young women now, my nieces decided it was finally time to go there and plans began to unfold.

After sharing in many wonderful experiences over the course of our time together, I told them I was going to pass on the wax museum.  You see, until that day the Northeast had been enveloped by dreary, rainy weather.  This day was a magnificent, warm and sunny day!  I chose to spend this Saturday afternoon soaking up the sunshine and exploring.  Being Californians, who are typically drenched in sunshine, they didn’t mind being inside a museum for a few hours. I, on the other hand, didn’t know whether the sunshine would last.

So, after sending them on their way aboard the 1 train, I began my personal adventure. Eventually, I stumbled across the Young Designers Market on Hudson between Christopher and Grove.  There were several exhibitors inside.  All were very talented.  Most were displaying their jewelry.  One woman in particular caught my eye. Her name was Sapna Mehra.  She was beautiful inside and out!  Her passion for her jewelry and the process by which it gets made were glaringly apparent.  Her face lit up as she shared the details.  To learn more, visit her blog.  You can also see some of her jewelry there OR at http://www.1000markets.com/users/sapnamehra.  It’s impossible to capture the true quality and energy of her jewelry in pictures.

I was especially intrigued by her “Seeds of Inspiration” necklaces. I knew I couldn’t leave without one.  It wasn’t about the need to buy something.  It was truly about appreciating the intention behind the necklace and supporting a woman who was following her heart.  Eventually, I selected a “mindfulness” necklace.  As delighted as I was in that moment, I was even more thrilled when Sapna got done “wrapping” my necklace in a lovely raw silk, drawstring bag. I walked away feeling like I had received a gift . . . not from myself but from the universe!  I was inspired by a young woman pursuing her dream and holding a necklace that would remind me to live mindfully.

I met up with my sister and nieces, and we went to Grom Gelato on Bleeker Street.  Just as we entered, a huge storm blew in!  We swapped stories over our yummy gelato and watched surprised pedestrians fly past the window in an attempt to dodge the torrents of rain.  I was grateful I had soaked up the sunshine while it lasted!  I was also mindful of how much I love my family and sharing experiences with them.  The necklace was already working!!

P.S.  They’ve put the Hudson Street market on hiatus for the summer, so Sepna will be at 286 Mulberry Street for the month of August.

Are you ready to thrive?

Kathie Nitz

Blissfully Alone in the City of Romance

Every time I see an imagine of the Eiffel Tower these days, I smile and feel a deep sense of peace. After years of associating it with disappointment and a broken dream, these days it represents adventure, clarity of vision, independence, courage, personal growth and staking a claim for myself!

My lust for France was born when I took my first French class as a freshman in high school.  The language came so naturally to me.  It was the first time a course was completely effortless.  I excelled and became eligible for a summer exchange program.  Unfortunately, circumstances beyond my control kept me from realizing that amazing opportunity.

I spent my adult life simultaneously expressing joy and suppressing envy when anyone I knew traveled to Europe . . . especially France.  Poor me!  When would it be my turn to go!?  I passively waited for my chance.

Along the way, I discovered coaching and pursued training.  I, once again, found myself immersed in something that felt so natural.  I found my purpose and passion AND took my life back.  Coaching transformed my life and has given me an opportunity to support others on their journey.

In January 2008, I was finally ready to give up being a victim of my past and took my fate into my own hands!  I declared to my husband, Steve, “I am going to Paris this year!  I’m not sure how or when, but I’m going to make it happen!”  I am blessed to have a husband who “gets me” and has an amazing capacity to love me unconditionally no matter where I’m at on my journey.  His running joke became “My wife wants to go to the city of romance without me!  What am I supposed to make of it?”  Most people asked me, “Why don’t you want to go with Steve?”  I would always say the same thing “It’s not about not wanting to go with him, it’s about wanting to experience it on my own.  There’s a difference!”  Some understood, some didn’t.  It didn’t matter.  I understood!

Around the same time, a dear friend gave me a lovely paperweight with the word Paris in it surrounded by pressed flowers.  It became a daily reminder of the dream I was actively pursuing.  I cycled between thanking her and cursing her out depending on my level of conviction each time I looked at it.  Ultimately, it became a powerful touchstone I could not ignore.

As I clarified my vision, the pieces came together.  My mission was to be “dipped in Paris!”  While I would, of course, do the touristy things (ascend the Eiffel Tower, ride on a Bateaux Mouche , visit the Louvre, etc.), I mostly wanted to experience Paris as if I lived there.

In September 2008, I found myself (alone) in Paris.  My trip was truly one of the most rewarding, meaningful and sensory rich experiences of my life.  I did what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, exactly the way I wanted to do it.   Self-indulgent?  Perhaps.  For me, it was actually about reconnecting with my authentic self and stepping more fully into the life I want to live.  I carried my journal with me everywhere and wrote when inspired.  I captured the magnificent details of the ordinary including . . .

• surrendering to the ice cold rose infused Berthillon sorbet melting on my tongue
• sitting reverently in Notre Dame while tears of gratitude streamed down my face
• savoring syrupy hot chocolate and sinfully delicious pastries while appreciating the equally delicious men who served me in the sugar plum environment of Ladurée
• running and laughing while seeking shelter from a sudden downpour that arrived just as I finished lunch at an outdoor café in the Tuilerie Gardens
• riding en plein air atop a bateaux mouche on a blustery night and being blissfully unaware of the heavy drizzle while simultaneously mesmerized by the twinkling lights of the Eiffel tour
• spending an afternoon with a stranger (the brother of a friend) in Montemartre and walking away with a friend who I felt I’d known forever
• thanking my throbbing feet at day’s end for barely returning me back to my room after carrying me miles and miles just to breathe in Paris
• asking for then receiving a wink from the universe in the form of a rainbow as my last day set in Paris.

While in Paris, I consciously chose to be in the moment rather than experiencing Paris through a view finder.  When I returned, I shared with my husband the few photos I had taken. One of those pictures in particular caught his eye.  He said, “It looks like you, but it doesn’t!”  I knew immediately what he saw but couldn’t explain.  It was the photo I took of myself where the Eiffel Tower ended up looking like a party hat on my head.  In that moment, I had captured pure bliss on my face!

What have you longed to do?  What do you want to be “dipped in?”  What would put pure bliss on your face?  I learned first hand the obstacles fall away once you clarify your vision, announce your intention for accountability, and take action each day to move yourself closer to your goal.  The world awaits . . .

Are you ready to thrive?

Kathie Nitz

Practicing self-management while all the world’s a-twitter

I admit it!  I’m absolutely fascinated by Twitter.   All day, every day, I’m inundated by requests from people, businesses and entertainment and news shows encouraging me to join the crowd.  Tweet them!  Follow them!  Don’t miss out! I was even curious enough to attend a workshop recently focusing on how to leverage Twitter and other networking sites for business purposes.

Okay, okay!  I get it, I get it!  Or do I?   What I DO get is that I only have so many hours in every day.  How I choose to spend my time is more important to me than ever.  My intention is to feed my spirit by participating in activities that enable me to thrive.  My passions are to spend time with my family and friends, make a difference in the world through my coaching, build my various businesses, write, travel, read, take photographs, workout and carve out time to “just be.”  The only way I can possibly accomplish this is to mindfully choose how I spend my time!  Living in each moment and being fully present is challenging enough without another obligation distracting me.

As I began writing this post, I wondered if people wh0 tweet are considered twits!?  I’m quite certain I’m not the first to make that amusing connection, however it was a new thought for me.  Still chuckling, I decided to look up the exact definition of a twit in the dictionary:  a silly, annoying person.  While I don’t mean to offend anyone who tweets, it did make me wonder.

How fully present can someone be when their brain and fingers are busily crafting a clever and/or informative tweet?  Often times they’re oblivious to the present as they tweet about something that just happened (aka the past).  How can you faithfully follow hundreds or thousands of fellow twits without forfeiting spending time with someone you truly care about who is standing right beside you?  I’m reasonably sure I’m going to get push back from some of the people I respect and admire who are twits.  It’s really not about judging them.  Besides, by now they understand my sense of humor.  It’s actually about objectively looking at the impact Twitter might have on my life and making a conscious decision to take on pass on tweeting . . . for now.

As a techy, I’ll continue to feel the pull of Twitter and practice self-management to fight the urge .  Notice, I didn’t use the word “never”when referring to Twitter.  For now, I’ve decided to launch a blog that fulfills my passion to write and gives me a creative outlet to share discoveries I make on my life’s journey with others.  In addition, I’ll be focusing my energies on leveraging my web sites and LinkedIn profile.  This will keep me plenty busy.

It may take me longer to build momentum for my business pursuits and that suits me just fine.  In the meantime, I have peace knowing this decision is in alignment with who I am and how I want to spend my time in this moment.  If I regret it down the road, then I’ll gladly admit to being the twit who refused to tweet.

Are you ready to thrive?

Kathie Nitz

Are you ready to thrive?

I am finally jumping into the blogging pool.  I LOVE to write!  I also LOVE life!  I often find myself wanting to share personal insights, random musings and/or interesting “finds” with others.

Until now, I allowed myself to be intimidated by the basic “rule” of blogging I’ve heard many times from the “experts” . . . target your audience and then stay on message!  I finally realized my audience is anyone on a journey of self-discovery who is equally curious about and inspired by life.  My message is sharing the things that help me thrive!

So, it is my intention to create postings that will, hopefully, enhance your life and help you thrive, too. Enjoy!

Are you ready to thrive?

Kathie Nitz